Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting is a regular feature on WMUR-TV which airs during the 12:00 noon news every third Thursday.   Extension professionals are interviewed during a three-minute segment for new ideas and fresh perspectives on the joys and challenges of raising children.  Timely topics and tips offer parents and others research-based information that can assist them in their parenting role. Below you will find additional information on topics discussed during the Positive Parenting WMUR-TV interview segments.

Back to School:  Lunch

As a parent you want your child to have a tasty and nutritious lunch at school.  But often what happens is the contents of the lunchbox end up in the cafeteria garbage can or return home uneaten.

One step parents can take to make sure kids eat their lunch is to sit down with them and make a list of the foods they will eat.  Keep the food guide pyramid handy to help with selecting a variety of foods. Your child’s lunch should include servings from at least three of the food groups.

• Fruits and vegetables are a great source of vitamins A and C.  They provide lots of color and a variety of textures to your child’s meal. 
• For grains, select 100% whole wheat or whole grain breads.  For variety try whole wheat bagels, pita pockets, wrap or crackers.  Your child could also have a bowl of whole grain cereal instead of the traditional sandwich.
• The meat group is a great source of protein, iron and B vitamins.  Choose low fat meats like chicken, turkey, tuna or lean beef.  Bean spreads like hummus or refried beans provide a change from luncheon meats. Nuts, seeds and cheese are also sources of protein.
• Milk can be readily purchased from the school cafeteria.  Yogurt, cheese and pudding are other foods in the milk group and provide lots of calcium and protein.

To help save time in the morning, assemble as much of the lunch as possible the night before.  Make sandwiches, cut up fruit or vegetables and put everything in one spot in the refrigerator so you can quickly put it into the lunch bag the next day. To keep lunches safe, use and insulated lunch bag or box and include some type of cold source.  A frozen juice box or cold pack will help keep sandwiches, yogurt, cheese or milk safe to eat.  

To make bag lunches interesting, here are tips try:

• Select a theme for the lunch bag.  Have your child help you come up with ideas. 
• Holiday theme - include foods that are the color from that holiday or give foods a name based on the holiday.  Valentines Day, include red peppers and red tomatoes.  Cut the sandwich with a heart shaped cookie cutter.  Spread the sandwich with “huggable” hummus. 
• Number theme – include a certain number of different foods. 7 whole wheat crackers, 7 cubes of cheese, 7 celery sticks, etc. Snack sized plastic bags work well for this.
• Birthday party themes – Pirates, ballerina, seaside, sports, etc.  Give foods a name based on the theme or include a special prize or napkin to go with the theme.
• Decorate a sandwich with raisins, dried fruits or other fruits and vegetables to make a happy face.
• Decorate sandwich bags with stickers.
• Include a special note, comic or joke in your child’s lunch box.
• Pick out a special recipe to make and try with your child.  Then include your child’s creation in the lunch box. 

Some of these ideas do take more time to prepare, so fit them into your schedule when you can, whether it is once a week or once a month. 

By Alice Mullen, MS, RD

Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Resources

Engaging Youth Today: 

Engaging youth today can be very challenging, but is essential if a positive youth development is the goal.  As youth development specialist Karen Pittman has noted, ‘problem free is not full prepared,’ and ‘fully prepared is not fully engaged.’  For a long time, work with youth focused on preventing problems and keeping kids out of trouble. More recently, the youth development field has worked to better prepare youth for the future by developing key life and leadership skills. Yet prevention and preparation work may still not fully engage youth.

Engaging Youth through Experiential Learning

Engaging youth requires that youth are partners in the learning experience with the adult educator, counselor or activity leader. To engage youth implies that youth are deeply respected and involved in the program or activity. Their ideas, interests and experiences matter—and they are encouraged to share them. They are active participants who learn by doing, by experience—and they are encouraged reflect on what they do and to apply what they learn in the future. This ‘experiential learning’ approach is the method promoted through 4-H Youth Development programs and was outlined by John Dewey over 90 years ago. According to Dewey, “Experiential learning takes place when a person involved in an activity looks back and evaluates it, determines what was useful or important to remember, and uses this information to perform another activity.”

4-H Essential Elements: A Circle of Courage for Engaging Youth

Today, the essential elements of 4-H, also known as the Circle of Courage, give us further guidance on engaging youth in meaningful ways. These four elements, Belonging, Mastery, Independence and Generosity, address the basic needs of youth and can help us to better engage youth today. The origin of these youth development elements can be found in the seminal work, Reclaiming Youth at Risk: Our Hope for the Future by Larry Brendtro, Martin Brokenleg, and Steve Van Bockern (Bloomington, IN, National Education Service, 1990). When a Circle of Courage surrounds a young person with opportunities for Belonging, Mastery, Independence and Generosity, youth needs can be met in positive ways, and contribute to important life-long achievements, such as self-esteem, character building, skill development and responsible citizenship. These elements comprise a youth development model that deeply respects the child, his/her needs, and their important connections with caring adults and the broader community:

Belonging includes a safe and secure physical and emotional environment where youth feel connected, where their voice and interests are heard, and they experience positive relations with caring adults who take an interest to support and guide them.

Mastery includes youth really being engaged in learning that matters, where key life skills are developed, where youth are motivated to practice and fine tune their growing repertoire of skills, and they experience increased competency by ‘doing, reflecting and applying.’

Independence includes self-determination and active participation in their future, where youth experience the impact of their decisions and actions on themselves and others in the world, and youth can achieve successful independence and demonstrate intra-dependence as community members.

Generosity includes a meaningful human connection with others, where youth value and practice service and care for others in the world, and they are willing and interested in utilizing their skills and capabilities for ‘the greater good.’

With Experiential Learning and a Circle of Courage present in our programs and activities, youth can be fully engaged and the goal of positive youth development is sure to take place.

Additional Resources for Engaging Youth Today:

UNH Cooperative Extension, 4-H Youth Development

4-H National Headquarters

Children, Youth and Families Education and Research Network

Forum for Youth Investment and Karen Pittman

Reclaiming Youth Network and Circle of Courage

submitted by:

Rick Alleva, Ed.D.

Extention Educator

4-H Youth Development

UNH Cooperative Extension

Rockingham County

The Importance of Work and Family Balance:

Recently, a lot of studies have shown that maintaining a good balance between the demands of your job and the needs of your family are important to both your productivity and success at work and the emotional well being of yourself and your family.  It is well proven that people who are stressed in their family life tend to be less productive and less satisfied at work and those workers who are unhappy at the workplace tend to have more problems at home. 

The research has also revealed that parents who are able to maintain a good work/family balance usually practice some of these strategies:

• Share housework and chores.  Make sure that each member of the family is expected to contribute to the daily work of keeping your home life comfortable.
• Share decision making at home.  Let everyone contribute to the what’s for dinner, what to wear, where to go daily decisions.
• Value family as the highest priority over professional responsibilities and advancement.
• Find joy and purpose in the work you do.  Find a way for your job to have meaning in your life.
• Set limits on work by separating family and work time boundaries clearly.
• Set priorities by making decisions.  Is your priority to just be successful at work?  Or is your priority to have a happy family life?  Or is it both?  If it is both, then make decisions with both goals in mind.
• Be professional at work by maintaining a strict schedule, but make sure that there is coverage and contingencies when family emergencies arise.
• Compartmentalize: Use home time for family and work time for your job.  Try to leave family issues at home or for breaks, leave your work at the office.

Essentially, your family’s well-being should always come first, but doing a good job at work has a lot to do with your family’s health, so finding the balance between the two makes you better at both being a family member and an employee.

Starting this fall, UNH Cooperative Extension will be conducting the first Work/Life Balance Assessment, a comprehensive study of work/balance issues in the lives of New Hampshire families.  For more information about the study, and monthly articles about work/family balance, visit the UNH Cooperative Extension Family and Parenting website .

You can also find great ideas and advice at the following websites:

• The Sloan Work and Family Research Network
• The Families and Work Institute
• The Alliance for Work-Life Progress

 

Finding Family Fun on the Farm

It’s that time of year again when the fruits and vegetables are growing on New Hampshire farms, and there are all kinds of activities that families can enjoy there.  In addition to pick-your-own farms, there are local farmers’ markets and farm stands that allow families to sample the local produce. 

           

 

 

 

 

There are many benefits for families when spending time at local pick-your-own farms, farmer’s markets or farm stands. Here are just a few to consider:

• Children and youth, along with their parents or caregivers, enjoy the shared experience of being outdoors and feeling the accomplishment of picking baskets or buckets of fresh fruits and vegetables.
• The physical activity involved in reaching and bending to pick your own fruits and vegetables can improve people’s physical and mental health.  A recent study mentioned in Tufts University Health and Nutrition Letter (July 2008) states that routine gardening or housework just 20 minutes per day, one to three times per week, reduced the chances of psychological distress by 24%. 
• Parents can teach their children about local farm production and it’s importance to the local economy.
• Sharing in activities like these can help families develop a sense of closeness and trust that helps strengthen family ties.
• The flavors and nutritional quality, and even food safety,of locally grown fruits and vegetables may be somewhat better than those found in supermarkets where they have come from other states, with extra storage and travel time.
• The price per pound or quart is usually cheaper. People can get larger quantities for canning or freezing at reasonable costs. And families can find additional cost savings by using less gas, as they travel to local farms compared to excursions that take them further distances.
• If organic production is important to families, they can get fruits and vegetables that have been grown organically.

In addition to picking and trying out the produce from local farms, many farms are creating other interesting and fun activities for children and their families to take part in.  Here are just a few possibilities:

• Educational workshops and farm tours
• Hay rides in the summer and fall, and sleigh rides in the winter
• Seeing the livestock and petting the smaller farm animals
• Hay and Corn Mazes
• Children’s Story Hours

People can find out about where and when these and other activities are taking place throughout New Hampshire by visiting the NH Department of Agriculture web site.They have created a few handy resources which include:

• Experience Rural New Hampshire
• 2008 NH Farmers’ Markets
• NH Farm Stand Directory 2008

 

Graduation Safety

High School Graduation Season is upon us. For most high school seniors this time of year is filled with all kinds of celebrations including proms, senior activities and graduation parties. As a parent of a graduating senior you may be wondering how you can help your teen to have fun and stay safe at the same time.

What's the challenge at this time of year?

What can parents & communities do?

What resources can help?

 

 

Following are selected sites to search for prevention programs and information about teens and substance abuse in the State of New Hampshire.

Breathe New Hampshire, American Lung Association of New Hampshire

• Breathe New Hampshire’s mission encompasses three main areas: tobacco prevention and cessation, asthma education, and legislative advocacy. This website contains information about each of these areas, as well as ways you can get involved.

Dartmouth Center on Addiction, Recovery and Education 

• The Center serves to address alcohol, tobacco and other drug-related problems, facilitate the development of needed programs, and encourage leadership to help reduce substance abuse in the state.

Governor’s Commission on Alcohol and Drug Abuse, Prevention, Intervention and Treatment

• On this site you will find a direct link to information about teen alcohol and drug use in the state, as well as links to prevention programs, treatment services and other websites containing helpful information.

NH Teen Institute

• The New Hampshire Teen Institute offers a variety of prevention-based leadership training programs for teens and adult advisors.

New Futures

• This website contains links which will direct you to resources and information to reduce underage alcohol problems and access to treatment.

New Hampshire Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselors Association  

• This website includes information about drug and alcohol addiction treatment, prevention and education.

New Hampshire Department of Education   

• This site has a link to New Hampshire’s YRBSS survey results.  To get there:
  • Click on “Data Report” link
  • Then click “Health/HIV/Youth Risk Behavior”
  • From there go to “Health/HIV/Youth Risk Behavior Survey” (YRBS)
  • Finally, you will see direct links to the results of the 2005 state YRBS

New Hampshire Health Data Inventory 

• The Health Data Inventory is an INVENTORY of health data sources and reports. The Health Data Inventory (HDI) provides useful information about these sources and links to organizations that manage the data.

Northeast Center for the Application of Prevention Technologies

• CAPT provides professional development opportunities to state prevention practitioners in our 11-state region, in order to strengthen youth prevention systems and assist professionals in the selection and implementation of best practices.  This website also includes resources for additional prevention sites.

Partnership for a Drug Free NH

• Found on NH’s DHHS webpage, this site offers conferences and trainings as wel as helpful materials offered to the public.

State of New Hampshire Department of Health and Human Services

• This site contains a great deal of information regarding substance abuse as well as other social concerns.  Great information can be found here regarding the Controlled Substance Schedule, prevention programs as well as treatment services.  Clicking on the Substance Abuse link on the left hand side of the screen will bring you to the information below.
• Prevention Page
• Clearinghouse and Lending Library:

UNH Adolescence Center

This site contains fact sheets and many helpful links to programs related to adolescence.

A Guide to Safe and Sober Event Planning This is a great guide for leaders and teens to help plan a fun and sober party.

American Council for Drug Education  

            This site features many helpful fact sheets.

Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of American  

• CADCA and their partners organize and develop plans and programs to coordinate their anti-drug efforts. The result is a comprehensive, community-wide approach to substance abuse and its related problems.

Healthy Schools Healthy Youth!  This website contains information about healthy lifestyles.

Innovation Center  

• This site contains training information and resources available to leaders to strengthen community and youth development to promote social change.

Join Together  

• This website features prevention education and vast amounts of alcohol related information about each state.Leadership to Keep Children Alcohol Free Steps you can take as a parent, educator or leader to help make sure your home, community and schools are safe environments for the youth around you.

Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD)  

• MADD has a great deal of information regarding teens and alcohol use, as well as programs for both adults and youth.

National 4-H Council   There are health and teen leadership curricula on this website.  

National Inhalant Prevention Coalition

• This website features information to answer all your question about “huffing”, a growing problem among youth in the U.S.

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism  

• This website contains information about research and data on alcohol abuse and alcoholism.

National Institute on Drug Abuse  This website includes information about drug abuse for teens, parents and educators, and is a great site for community leaders as well. Several related fact sheets are available.

Office of National Drug Control Policy National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign

• This website contains information about media campaigns for drug prevention.

Parents. The Anti-Drug  

• This website has wonderful information regarding talking to your teens about drug and drug abuse.  It features information for educators and leaders alike.

Partnership For A Drug Free America 

• This website features excellent sources and information regarding their campaign todecrease drug use around the U.S.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration  

• This website contains immense amounts of information about all areas of substance abuse and mental health.

Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (YRBS)  

• This website contains statistical information about obesity, drugs, alcohol and other risky behaviors involving teens.

Steps to finding information for your state:

• Go to www.cdc.gov
• Click on “Life Stages and Populations”
• Click on “Adolescents and Teens”
• Under Quick Links: Click on “State-by-State Data”
• Click on “Your State”
• Under “Facts and Figures” you should find the mortality fact sheet, along with other helpful fact sheets about your state
• Under “For More Information,” you should find the location in your state for more information based on the YRBS.  

Teens and Parties:of MN and U of WI Positive Parenting of Teens Curriculum; MN Dept. of Children, Families, and Learning Pub.: The Children's Fire, 1998, Vol 5.

A Parents' Guide for Teenage Parties U. Illinois Extension, Working Families Summer 2008 Issue

 

Supporting the Healthy Development of Girls

Understanding Gender Differences: Strategies to Support Girls and Boys
This is an excellent publication from University of Maine Cooperative Extension on what we can do to support the healthy development of boys and girls.

Hardy Girls Healthy Women, Inc

The Hardy Girls website offers a lot of great information for teens, parents, counselors, teachers and anyone else who cares about girls and their health.

Turn Beauty Inside Out

Turn Beauty Inside Out (TBIO) - a grassroots celebration of media images that promote healthy behavior for girls and boys- was created by a group of girls ages 8-16 to invite people everywhere to join us in celebrating Inner Beauty - the beauty of conviction, caring and action. Girls and boys (not to speak of women and men) need a definition of beauty that focuses on who they are and what they do, not on how they look.

4Girls.gov: The mission of the 4 girls.gov web site, developed by the Office on Women's Health in the Department of Health and Human Services, is to promote healthy, positive behaviors in girls between the ages of 10 and 16. The site gives girls reliable, useful information on the health issues they will face as they become young women, and tips on handling relationships with family and friends, at school and at home.

The Ophelia Project: Focuses primarily on girls and relational aggression or "girl bullying."

Parenting As a Team – The United Front

Children do best when parents work together as a team. How much parents agree or disagree about childrearing can have a major effect on their kids.  Children need to hear the same message and see cooperation between parents, even when parents don’t live in the same house. While parents probably won’t agree on everything, it’s important to recognize possible disagreements and learn to work through them.

Why is cooperation between parents important?

Agreeing about childrearing, especially discipline, can be tough for parents. One parent may want more rules or stricter discipline than the other.  But, research shows that parents’ ability to cooperate and support each other is important to children’s well-being. When children see parents cooperating and happy together, kids do better in school, get along better with others, and feel good about themselves. 

Disagreements over parenting decisions can happen when two parents live together and have a strong positive relationship. Decisions become even more challenging when parents don’t live together or have problems getting along with each other. Parents who don’t get along, often let the friction between them limit their ability to be effective parents. This is true in both married and divorced families.

Supportive co-parenting happens when parents – married or not - agree on decisions about their children. Decisions can be minor, such as bedtime for a 6-year old, or more serious, such as the response to a 17-year old who gets home late. Supportive co-parenting occurs when kids get the same message from both parents and see parents backing each other. When children experience supportive co-parenting, they are more likely to listen and cooperate.

What can happen when parents don’t agree on parenting decisions?

When children repeatedly see conflict, or parents don’t work together, kids feel guilt, anxiety, and stress. Parents who argue about childrearing put the child in the middle. Children become unsure of how to behave, must negotiate different rules and expectations with each parent, and feel responsible for parents’ problems.

What if parents don’t agree – what should they do?

When parents don’t agree, working towards cooperation is important. Put the child first. Parents can both practice new ways of communicating. Clearly state ideas without blaming the other parent; listen to the other parent with respect; focus on the specific issues under discussion; and remain calm. Criticizing the other person; hearing the disagreement as a personal attack; making sarcastic comments; or avoiding discussion, all stand in the way of reaching agreement and make the situation worse.

To work towards resolving disagreements, carefully and respectfully consider the other parent’s ideas. Be willing to negotiate and compromise. Each parent may have to give up something to make an agreement acceptable to both.

Parenting disagreements happen between most parents. Supportive and effective co-parenting requires working together as a team and putting the needs of the child first.

For more information, check the UNH Cooperative Extension web site (extension.unh.edu) for the following publications.

Parenting Alone Family Publications

• Communicating Within Your Family
• Co-Parenting After Divorce

Sharon Cowen is Family and Consumer Resources Educator, University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension, Hillsborough County.  For further information, call your county extension office or visit the UNH-CE website at http://extension.unh.edu.

 

BULLYING DO’S AND DON’TS

Bullying is:“Intentional, repeated, hurtful acts words or other behavior committed by one or more children against another; It may be physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual in nature” (USDE).

• There are over 7,000,000 incidences of bullying in U.S. Public Schools each year.
• A growing area of bullying is in internet communication
• Of 48 recent U.S. school shooters, 47 had been bullied at school.
• Approximately 25% of middle school students are bullied each month in the U.S.
• Girls are just as likely to be bullied as boys
• Bullying occurs equally in smaller and larger schools

If you suspect your child is being bullied:

Do:

Take it seriously, bring it out in the open and really listen to your child.

Being bullied makes you feel really mad, hurt, and alone and you should help your child express these feelings.

Don’t:

Minimize, rationalize or try to explain away the bully’s behavior,    

Bullying is a crime and should be treated as such.

Do:

Let your child know that it is not his or her fault and that no one deserves to be bullied

Bulling behavior is often a sign that something is seriously wrong, emotionally, with the bully. 

Don’t:

Tell your child to “fight back,” or to just avoid the bully.

These simple solutions could make a complicated problem much worse.

Do: 

Help your child develop a plan to deal with the bully.

•             Who can they talk to/tell when they feel afraid at school?
•             How can they limit their interaction with the bully?
•             What specifically will you do to help them: Contact school officials?  Call other parents? Offer to drive them to and from school?
•             What words can they use to be assertive to the bully without being aggressive?

Don’t:

Rush in and try to solve the problem for your child.

Your intervention, if not carefully planned, could make your child look weak, helpless, and defenseless.

Do:

Report what your child tells you to school officials, other parents, and if necessary, law enforcement.

For more information and great resources on bullying, please visit the U.S. Health and Human Services Stop Bulling website and the

The National Mental Health Information Center

 

Managing the Stress of Parenting

Do you feel you have no control over what happens to you or your family? Have no time in the day for yourself? Try to do too many things? All parenting involves stress, and children feel stress as well, yet, it is important to keep in mind that stress is normal and is healthy when managed properly. Managing stress is a balance between coping with and reducing stressors. Parents can learn to recognize and monitor their own stress symptoms and sources of the stress, as well as those of their children. Ellen Rondina, Extension Educator in Family and Consumer Resources with UNH Cooperative Extension, is with us today to share some important tips on how to manage the stress of parenting.

Q #1:   So, Recognizing stress and stress symptoms is important in being able to manage stress, so what should parents look for?

It’s important to keep in mind that stress can be healthy.

• It can motivate us
• It can propel us to stay organized and stay focused on our priorities
• It can help us to focus on the positive, on what is going well

Stress becomes a problem when you feel overwhelmed and are not sure how to handle it

There are physical symptoms:

• Tired
• Headaches
• Stomach, back, or other pain
• Cleaning jaw and grinding teeth
• Recurring colds or flu
• Problems sleeping

      There are mental symptoms:

• Difficulty concentrating
• Being forgetful
• Trouble making decisions

      Emotional symptoms:

• Angry
• Frustrated
• Tense
• anxious

Q #2:   What can parents do to manage their own stress?

Just as stress is different for each of us, there is no stress reduction strategy that will work for everyone. For parents it is important to not only manage their own stress, but to model stress reducing techniques for their children. The key is to learn how to distinguish between stress that is unavoidable and stress than can be prevented or influenced.

Best Ways to prevent it: (these are things we hear over and over again, yet research really shows us that these are effective stress management behaviors)

• Getting enough sleep
• a proper diet
• avoiding excess caffeine and other stimulants and
• taking time out to relax
• setting priorities; decide what is really important and what you can say no to

For stress that we cannot avoid: Coping strategies can be grouped into 4 categories: React, Refocus, Recharge, and Revise

React: Things that people do to keep themselves under control when under stress

• expressing oneself
•  in words either out loud or in a letter
• drawing a picture
• playing music
• relaxing or cooling off
• taking a shower/bath
• lying down
• reading a book
• listening to music
• watching TV
• deep breathing
• escaping by
• taking a walk or a drive
• visiting a friend
• taking a mind vacation
• going to the movies
• meditating
• physical activity/exercise

Refocus:

• Focus on the positive/what is going well/right
• what you are learning
• put things in perspective; what bad things could have happened but didn’t, will the problem still be important in an hour, month, year?
• take responsibility without feeling like a failure; How have your actions helped or hurt the situation, how could you do things differently the next time?

Recharge: Ways that people gain strength and support to prepare for the next stressor,   

• reaching out to the community for support from friends and family or other community members or community opportunities. Try a Yoga or Tai Chi class.

Revise:

• Make changes where necessary
• build new skills
• change expectations
• change your situation (job, school)
• change the environment (move?)

Q #3:   How can parents help their children cope with stress?

One of the best ways that parents can help children cope with stress is to model the behaviors and techniques that we just talked about and help children to develop these skills

• Touch and hold the child
• Listen to the child
• Talk with the child (or sing or play music, especially if the child is very young)
• Use stories and make-believe (read books to your child, even if the child doesn’t understand, use puppets and art)
• Change the child’s environment, or help the child change his/her own environment
• Encourage them to be physically active, and even better, engage in physical activities and exercise with your children

For additional information, check out these websites, and as always, contact your county Family & Consumer Educator:

• Suzanne Cagle (Belknap County) 527-5475
• Ann Hamilton (Carroll County) 539-3331
• Nancy Bradford-Sisson (Cheshire County) 352-4550
• Sue Buteau (Coos County) 788-4961
• Deborah Maes (Grafton County) 787-6944
• Sharon Cowen (Hillsborough County) 641-6060
• Alice Mullen (FHGEC)1-877-398-4769
• Thom Linehan (Merrimack County) 796-2151
• Karyn Blass (Rockingham County) 679-5616
• Claudia Boozer-Blasco (Rockingham County) 679-5616
• Ellen Rondina (Strafford County) 749-4445
• Gail Kennedy (Sullivan County) 863-9200

• Child Development Institute-Stress Management for Parents
• Canadian Mental Health Association-The Stress of Parenting
• About.Com:Stress Management
• Dupage County Health Department-Parenting Stress

Lighten Up NH –Healthy Eating and Active Living Website

We have all been hearing a great deal recently in the media about childhood obesity and its impacts on children’s health.  While parents have a tremendous impact on their children’s habits, sometimes the volume of information we are bombarded with can be overwhelming.  Often, parents are left wondering which information to trust and what steps they really can take to improve their family’s habits and health. 

The new Lighten Up NH website can help parents make good choices for their families by providing research based, clear, easy to use information about healthy diet and exercise habits.  Parents can use this website to find information on:

• Healthy Nutrition
• Increasing Physical Fitness
• Staying Motivated
• Finding Local Resources

For more information, please visit the Lighten Up NH website

Developing our Future Voters

New Hampshire has once again been in the national spotlight as citizens recently participated in the record-breaking turn-out of voting in the NH Presidential Primary.  The Primary, along with upcoming town, city and national elections, provides numerous opportunities for parents to influence whether or not their children will grow up to be people who vote and actively participate in the democratic process.

According to the Council for Excellence in Government, studies suggest that parents have significant influence over whether or not their children will vote in the future.  Parents who vote have children who are twice as likely to vote as their peers. In addition, taking their children with them to the polls is an experience their children are likely to remember and repeat when they become adults.

At their web site, www.takeyourkidstovote.org, the Council for Excellence in Government offers these suggestions for parents to help get their family involved and to encourage citizenship participation.

• Register to Vote:  In New Hampshire, you can contact your local town and city clerk up to 10 days before any election or you can register on Election Day at the polling place.  You will be asked to fill out a standard Voter Registration Card and provide proof of residency, citizenship and that you are at least 18 years of age. A valid driver’s license may be all that’s needed, but you might also bring a passport, birth certificate, or naturalization papers if appropriate.
• Choose an Issue: Ask your children what issues they are interested in and then learn the candidate positions on those issues.  Talk with your children about which candidates reflect your views and theirs too.
• Contact the Candidates:  During the NH Presidential Primary, parents and their children had the chance to attend rallies, town meetings, and house parties to hear the candidates and ask questions. Children can still view the candidate web sites and even send comments to the campaigns.
• Take a Walk around the Neighborhood: Candidate signs are still visible along roadsides.  While walking or riding in the car, see how many different campaigns your children can identify.
• Review the Ads: When the national campaign gets going, New Hampshire will once again be seeing many campaign ads on television or through the mail.  Ask your children about the ads – are they positive, negative, warm and fuzzy, humorous or scary? Which ones do they remember and why?
• Listen Up:  Have your children talk to older members of the family about their voting histories.  Who was the first presidential candidate they remember voting for? Which candidates were their favorites, and did they win or lose?
• Go to the Polls with your Kids:  Take them into the voting booth with you. Your modeling of citizen participation sends a strong example that increases your child’s chances of being a future voter.

 

                                        

THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY GIVING       

At this time of year, it is easy to get caught up in commercialism and seasonal marketing and forget the real values of the holiday season.  If you let your family become buried under the avalanche of greed and the need to get and receive the biggest and best, you may be missing out on the real opportunity the holidays hold for families: a chance to practice the art of family giving. Teaching children how to give to others is not only important for their moral and social growth - some research indicates it could even improve the quality of their lives. 

Benevolence, or the art of giving to others, has been shown to:

• reduce stress in children’s lives
• improve the way they see themselves 
• make children feel more optimistic about the future and their role in it, and
• teach them skills important to civic leadership, sharing, and getting along.

Real family giving goes beyond the usual gift exchange. Benevolence has nothing to do with the cost of a gift or its size.  Benevolence can include:

• an act of kindness
• something you baked or built
• forgiveness
• the gift of your time and attention to someone who needs it.

Children learn generosity and kindness both by modeling those around them and by participating in an unconditional good deed.  So, as a family, plan to spend part of the holiday implementing a new family tradition of giving.  No child is too young to learn how to share and give. As a family, you could:

• bake bread and cookies for your neighbors and deliver them as a family
• adopt a family or find a charity through your local United Way
• visit a hospital or nursing home
• invite someone who is alone to join in your family holiday celebrations
• shovel a neighbor’s snow covered walk or driveway
• forgive and reach out to a relative or friend who has wronged you
• visit the Learning To Give website for many other ideas.

Giving your family a chance to be benevolent could be the best gift of the season!

 

"5-2-1-0 Healthy NH" is a statewide public education campaign to bring awareness to the daily guidelines for nutrition and physical activity. Its message is simple and clear and represents some of the most important steps families can take to prevent childhood obesity:

5  Fruits and vegetables…more matters!  Eat at least 5 servings a day.  Limit 100% fruit juice. 
2 Cut screen time to 2 hours or less a day.
1 Participate in at least one hour of moderate to vigorous physical activity every day.
0  Restrict soda and sugar-sweetened sports and fruit drinks.  Instead, drink water and 3-4 servings/day of fat-free/skim or 1% milk.

For more information and free resources, visit the website at http://www.healthynh.com/fhc/initiatives/ch_obesity/index.php.

Healthy Fruit Snack Recipe aired on WMUR 12/13/07 (print)

1 small whole wheat wrap
2 Tbs. strawberry flavored cream cheese spread (peanut butter or low fat vanilla yogurt can be substituted)
1/2 cup thinly sliced fruit or small fruit pieces (bananas, strawberries, apple, mandarin oranges, blueberries, raisins)

Spread cream cheese on wrap. Place one layer of fruit slices on wrap.  Fold up 1 inch of the bottom of the wrap.  Roll up the wrap from the left side to the right side forming a tight roll up.  Eat and enjoy.

Provides 1 serving of fruit
Calories:  220 

Project C.A.S.H. (Creating a Savings Habit)

By the time their teenager leaves for college, most parents have brought up some of the difficult topics that have to be discussed in a world with increasing risks to those who are inexperienced. Typically, parents may bring up topics such as underage drinking, illegal drug use, tobacco, sexuality, unhealthy relationships.

However, there is one topic that parents routinely forget to discuss. And lack of knowledge and skills in THIS area could cause a student to endanger their future financial well-being, as well as their ability to stay in school. The topic is MONEY MANAGEMENT.

There is a concentrated effort underway to increase the financial literacy of our youth. Currently only 15% of our nation’s high school seniors graduate with any formal instruction in personal finance. 26% of 13- to 21- year-olds have reported that their parents actively taught them how to manage money. With a third of the nation’s high school seniors using credit cards, and bankruptcy filings for those in the 18 to 25 age bracket undergoing a tenfold increase in just five years, the need for that MONEY TALK with parents before college is VERY apparent. For more information visit project cash.

Connections Count During National Family Week

National Family Week: Connections Count embraces the premise that children live better lives when their families are strong, and families are strong when they live in communities that connect them to economic opportunities, social networks, and services. These "connections," celebrated during National Family Week, include access to reliable transportation, employment opportunities, education, child care, housing, health care, and support from community networks and institutions. These are the main messages for National Family Week: Connections Count, scheduled for November 18-24.

Ways to Celebrate National Family Week: Connections Count

• Get involved. Participate in local National Family Week activities.

• Extend your family. Meet and get to know your neighbors. Plan a neighborhood supper.

• Be a leader. Organize or participate in a school meeting about improving your child’s education.

• Be a volunteer. Coordinate family volunteer projects with other groups in your community.

• Connect with the community. Select an issue that can improve your community. Work with local officials or local nonprofit agencies to effect change.

• Take it to work. Encourage employers to consider family-friendly work options, such as flexible hours and time off to attend school functions.

The Alliance for Children and Families, a nonprofit membership association representing child-and family-serving organizations in the United States and Canada, has directed National Family Week efforts for more than 30 years. National Family Week is supported by The Annie E. Casey Foundation. For more information visit www.nationalfamilyweek.org.

National Family Week

 

Cooking with Kids

At the end of a long work day, the last thing you want to think about is cooking dinner, let alone cooking dinner with your children.  You can imagine the huge mess they’ll make, leaving you with extra clean up duties. Plus, making dinner with your kids will take so much more time, and the whole time they’ll be whining, “When’s dinner going to be ready?”  It’s so much easier to give them a snack and put them in front of the television while you make dinner by yourself – right?

Maybe not.  Cooking with kids can be a fun way to spend time with your children.  Preparing a meal together gives you time to talk, laugh and enjoy being together as a family. Many childhood memories arise from the tastes and smells of food prepared as a family.  Children are often more willing to try new foods when they’ve helped make them.  Cooking also teaches patience and allows them to develop a sense of pride for their accomplishments.  By welcoming a child’s help in the kitchen, you can help eliminate the “I’m starving” whining, and as a parent, become recharged by their company.

To begin, think about how you will approach cooking with your kids.  Worrying or complaining about the mess and time it will take will dampen the amount of fun you have with your children. Accept that kids are messy and are probably going to make a mess when they help you cook.  Recognizing that making a mess is part of the process will eliminate surprises and frustrations. Make sure you get the kids to help you clean up afterwards.  Once they have made an effort to clean up, you can finish the job to meet your cleaning standards.

Second, know that cooking with kids will take more time, but remember the extra time is being spent with your children.  The enjoyment of cooking with your kids is in the process, not the results.  Spending time with your child, working on a fun activity together, are the important results of cooking.

Before jumping into making a gourmet meal with your child, ask your child to help you plan the meal or pick a simple recipe to prepare.  Try to prepare meals that you know they love to eat.  This will help keep children involved in the kitchen.  Also, encourage them to select recipes that are nutritious and healthy.  Cooking with your children is a perfect time to talk about making healthy food choices or how our body uses food. You can also talk about where each food comes from and how food is grown or made.

Ease into the experience by having them help you with one part of the meal.  You might want to start with making something for breakfast on the weekend and then gradually add in meal preparation activities during the week. Make a list of ingredients and utensils needed. You can also have kids personalize the recipe or give the meal an outrageous name.

The child’s developmental stage will help you determine how the child can help in the kitchen.  Toddlers can help with counting out ingredients and pouring them into a bowl.  If salad is on the menu, wash your toddler’s hands with soap and water and have them help you rinse the salad greens and vegetables. Let your child tear the lettuce into smaller pieces.  They can help toss the salad by using their clean hands or if they are able to, using salad spoons. Young children can help stir pancake batter or egg mixtures for scrambled eggs.  At lunch, have them use cookie cutters to cut out shapes from sandwich bread or have them decorate sandwiches with fresh vegetables. 

Older children can help with reading the recipe to you. Reading recipes teaches sequencing by following the directions and completing each step in order. Measuring ingredients teaches accuracy and the fractions used in recipes can help reinforce math skills. Since their motor skills are more developed, they can crack eggs or grate cheese.  When spaghetti and meatballs is on the menu, designate your child as the Marvelous Meatball Maker. Let your child make all different sizes of meatballs. Setting and clearing the table are other meal preparation activities that children can do.  

Close supervision of your child is essential for safety in the kitchen.  Set ground rules that require the child to get permission from you before they start a project in the kitchen. Have children and adults wash their hands with soap and water before they start cooking. Remember to clean, separate, cook and chill. Keep everything clean, hands, counters, dishes and utensils. Don’t cross contaminate bacteria from raw foods with cooked foods. Use a thermometer to make sure food is cooked properly. Refrigerate foods quickly, and keep hot foods hot and cold foods cold.

Arrange the work area at a height that your child can easily reach. Offer children safe utensils made of wood or plastic.  As children get older, you can teach them how to safely use knives and appliances, but always supervise them.  Set up rules about the stove.  Young children need to know it is hot and not to touch it.  Keep pot and pan handles turned towards the back of the stove.  Even older children need some supervision.  Although developing independence is important, stay close by to watch for dangerous mistakes.  Serious burns or cuts are not the way to “learn by your mistakes.” 

By Alice Mullen, MS, RD

Extension Educator, Family and Consumer Resources

Changing the Scene Newsletter:Promoting Nutrition and Fitness in Schools throughout New Hampshire

Volume 7